My Debut Novel

BOOK 1

PROLOGUE

August 23, 2032

Kathmandu

" ……., and the best story will be made into a short film", the event organiser announced to the mass. In a certain college, an event was held in which the students were asked to come up with one story each, and the stories were supposed to be written by the students themselves. "I have no freaking idea how I'm gonna write a story, for I've never written one before", exclaimed Aditi in frustration.

Few hours later, she found herself in her room. It was 11 in the morning. She badly needed a story so she could modify it and present it the following day in the event at her college. She even thought of searching over the Internet, and later thought it was never a good idea to plagiarise. “ Naanu, come over here and have some food. I bet you are hungry”, she heard her mother call her from the kitchen. Everybody in her family called her Naanu. “How was it today at the college, dear?” Mrs.Karki, Aditi’s mother asked her. Aditi was the only child of the Karki couple. Aditi’s father, Mr. Prakash Karki was a renowned figure in automobile business. Aditi’s mother was a doctor by profession. Her mother was just about to leave for her work. “It was just an average day, mom”, she replied. Mrs. Karki smiled at Aditi. Even in her early forties, she didn’t seem of her age.  “Here you are, Naanu”, their maid served Aditi lunch.

  When she was done, she went upstairs to a room where there was a mighty collection of books of different genres.   Her father was very fond of books. Some of the books had no covers indicating thatthose were the oldest ones. Amid the books, well-hidden, she found something she’d never expected she would. A notebook. It had a blue cover. She wondered whose notebook it was-“Father’s ? Mother’s ? “She turned the outer thick cover.The first few pages were blank. She quickly turned some more pages……………….

Jan 03, 2009
Kathmandu
9:30 PM


I don’t know how to begin. This is the first time ever that I’m writing diary. Well, today I met someone.

I don’t know why but I liked him at the very first sight. And his gentle and kind behaviour made me fall for him. I wish to know more about him and hope to get to know him better. I’m sure he is a very nice person. I met him while I was going to my frie……..

   Those were the first few lines in the notebook. Aditi had stopped reading because she saw her mother right in front of her. Luckily, she was able to hide the notebook. “What have you been doing here, Naanu?”  “Nothing so, I just came here to search for a good novel”, answered Aditi trying to suppress the nervousness in her voice. Her mother chose one of the novels which was entitled "The Kite Runner" . She handed the novel to Aditi saying that it was her favourite one. “And yes, I am having an important work at the hospital today, so it might be a little late. You don’t have to wait for me for the dinner. I and your father will return together”, her mother told Aditi. “Okay mom, have a nice day”, Aditi smiled at her mother and saw her leave the room.She picked the novel as well as the notebook, and headed towards her room. She was very desperate to read the rest of the notebook. She was going to know something very important. There were life stories in that notebook, full of misery, struggle, love, trust, ambition, dreams, success and fate. When she got inside her room, she started to read the notebook again.

CHAPTER1

Jan 03, 2009

Kathmandu

“Which place did you just tell?”, asked Ananyaa over the phone.

“ Dhapasi Heights”, replied her friend Sonika, “ You know where it is, right ?”

“ Um,actually I don’t”, Ananyaa kept her voice low.

“ Let me give you the route. You can get to Basundhara Chowk. It lies on the Ringroad. From there, you’ll find microbuses to Dhapasi Heights. Got it ?”

“ Yes. I’ll be there.”

“ Just give me a call once you reach there. I’ll be there within 5 minutes after your call”, Sonika assured her friend.

“I will. See you soon”, Ananyaa hung up the phone.

    Ananyaa Mahat, the daughter of the successful industrialist Mr. Arun Mahat, was a pretty girl with great intelligence. Her mother Mrs. Chaadani Mahat was the president of Beautician Association of Nepal(BAN). She had a younger brother who was just 13. Ananyaa was then 17 years old. Her parents were well-off. Her father owned two garment factories in the capital. In spite of belonging to a rich family, she was a simple girl with a kind heart. She spoke very less, and was never rude to anyone. She was a bright student. After completing her school, she was pursuing an intermediate degree in Science in one of the renowned colleges of the capital.

   Since she didn’t know where exactly Dhapasi Heights was, she thought it would be easier for her to get there by public vehicles. Her family driver could have helped her to get there but she never asked him. She wanted to go on her own. She was bored of the luxurious life she lived. Half an hour later, she found herself at NAC, which was a central hub for the vehicles of almost all the routes of the capital. Vehicles were buzzing horns continuously. She had taken a public vehicle from her home at Baneshwor to NAC. Then she had to take another vehicle. She asked the conductors how she could get to Dhapasi Heights. One of them told her that she could reach there by a single vehicle. No sooner had she asked the conductor than she saw a microbus with a route tag of “Dhapsi Heights”. She got into the vehicle, and sat in one of the vacant seats. In no time, a crowd of people started getting into the vehicle, which made it full. She spotted an old woman who hadn’t got any seat. A boy sitting at the last seat offered the old woman his seat. As the boy stood up, the old woman, with a smile on her face blessed him. The microbus paced up with dozens of other. As they reached Lazimpat, the man sitting beside Ananyaa got off. The boy who had been standing for the last ten minutes sat beside Ananyaa. He had worn a white t-shirt and blue jeans. He had a fair complexion. Ananyaa looked at him for a couple of seconds and turned away. The boy didn’t notice her looking at him.

Unfortunately, the vehicle’s engine failed as they reached NarayanGopal Chowk. The conductor told the passengers that it would take at least half an hour to fix it. The boy got off the vehicle. So did Ananyaa and other passengers. Ananyaa thought herself to be unlucky. She had to reach Dhapasi Heights anyhow. So she finally decided to ask for help.
“Excuse me, would you mind helping me to get to Dhapasi Heights? I haven’t been to this area that often, and don’t know much about the places here”, uttered Ananyaa.
“  Of course not”, the boy smiled casually. “ Co-incidentally, I live there”.
It was the same boy who had sat beside Ananyaa. He told her that it would take them about 25 minutes on foot and 10 minutes in a vehicle. Ananyaa noticed the traffic jam at the junction.
“ Let’s go on foot”, Ananyaa said.
“ Yeah ! this traffic jam is going to last for a while”, replied the boy.
Ananyaa was amused by the way the boy understood her. She hadn’t said anything about the traffic jam , and yet the boy exactly knew what she was thinking. They started walk.
“ By the way, I’m Ananyaa. What’s your name?”asked Ananyaa.
“ Saugat”, replied the boy without looking at Ananyaa’s face.

On the way, they had conversations of which level they studied in and their colleges. She also told that she was going to her friend’s place. Ananyaa used to think that she spoke lesser than others did until that day when she met someone who even spoke lesser than she herself. They had reached Dhapasi Heights.
“ Here you are. This place is called Dhapasi Heights”, the boy exclaimed.
“ Thank you a lot. I’ll call my friend here now. Thank you again”, Ananyaa thanked Saugat.
“ All my pleasure”, he replied as he had the same casual smile on his face. He bade her goodbye, and started to walk away. Ananyaa didn’t look happy. She wanted to know more about him. In no time, she had liked him. She couldn’t even ask him his full name.
“Saugat!”, Ananyaa called him.
The boy turned back and said “Yes”.

Ananyaa asked him if he was on Facebook. He said he was. They exchanged their Facebook names. For the second time he bade her goodbye. And he grew smaller and smaller as he walked away. All he would say is goodbye, which both were unaware of. After Saugat had disappeared completely, she called her friend Sonika. As Sonika had mentioned earlier, she got there in less than five minutes. Sonika took Ananyaa to her home. For the rest of the day, Ananyaa kept thinking about Saugat.

On the way back to her home, Ananyaa bought a thick notebook which had a blue cover. She also bought a novel which she had heard a lot of. It was Khaled Hossieni’s The Kite Runner.

She had seen in movies how girls scribbled in notebooks about their first meeting with their crush. Yes, Ananyaa had a crush on Saugat on the very first day she met him. Later that night after dinner, she sent him a friend request on Facebook. Ananyaa had never been in a relationship before. She never had such feelings towards any guy she had met in her life. Saugat turned to be an exception.
Ananyaa was in her room on her bed. From her bag, she took out the notebook she’d bought. She left the first few pages blank. Then she finally began to write something after thinking for five long minutes.


Jan 03, 2009

Kathmandu

9:30 PM

I don’t know how to begin. This is the first time ever that I’m writing diary. Well, today I met someone.

I don’t know why but I liked him at the very first sight. And his gentle and kind behaviour made me fall for him. I wish to know more about him and hope to get to know him better. I’m sure he is a very nice person. I met him while I was going to my frie……..

Those were the first few lines she wrote in the notebook. Ananyaa had stopped writing because she saw her mother at the door of her room. She quickly hid the notebook under her pillow, and took out the novel. She pretended to have been reading it.
“What have you been reading,Anu?” She was called Anu at her home.
“ It’s a novel. People say this one is just too good. So I just bought it today”, replied Ananyaa.

Her mother smiled at her and said, “ Okay, but don’t stay up late. Sleep on time, will you honey?”
“Yes mom, I’ll.”
“Goodnight Anu. ”
“Goodnight mom.”
            And her mother had gone. Ananyaa slowly took out the notebook, and wrote some pages about all the things that happened on that day, and how she had met Saugat. She also wrote about her feelings. The clock on her room wall showed that it had  already been 11:47. So she kept the notebook well hidden in her drawer, and slept. It had been a wonderful day for her.  

CHAPTER 2

Jan 04, 2009

Kathmandu

         It was a chilly Sunday morning in the capital. The mercury had gone below 10°C. Ananyaa was still asleep in her bed when their maid brought her coffee. 

"Anu", the maid uttered. She didn't wake up. The maid uttered again, "Anu", this time around a little louder. Ananyaa slowly lifted her eyelids. Her eyes were red. She didn't use to stay up late but the night before, she had stayed up almost till midnight.
        "Good morning Anu ! "
        " Good morning Sanumaya ! "
      Sanumaya was a 32-year-old woman who had been staying with the family ever since she turned 12. Ananyaa had an intimate relationship with her. Being born to busy parents, Ananyaa had spent most of her childhood with Sanumaya. Ananyaa counted on Sanumaya in her every single problem. She hardly shared her problems with her parents. Sanumaya's parents were poor so they couldn't afford for her education. She was sent to the capital to work as a maid. The Mahats paid for her education till grade 10 . After that, she couldn't continue her education as she had to take care of Ananyaa who was just born then.She had willingly accepted to drop her studies. Sanumaya was unmarried. She had decided she wouldn't marry anyone, and had wished to be with the family all her life. She was a sincere maid, and had never let anyone down in the family.

    "Anu, are you fine? Your eyes are so red. Didn't you sleep well?” inquired Sanumaya.
    "I'm just fine. Just read a book until midnight. Maybe that's why", Ananyaa lied. She wouldn't keep her secret away from Sanumaya for too long. She would tell Sanumaya soon, but not at the very moment. 

     It was seven in the morning. Ananyaa had some coffee, and was in her room. She checked her facebook and found out that her friend request was still pending. After some 10 minutes, she received a notification that Saugat had accepted her friend request. She was so happy. She had the widest smile on her face. She tried to chat with him but he was gone. The moment had come and gone-like a breeze. All she managed to do was send him an offline message. Ananyaa was called for the lunch. At 10, she left for her college with their family driver in their Mazda.

    The days kept on passing by. They hadn’t had a chat yet. Ananyaa would send an offline message, and Saugat would reply. Therefore, one day, Ananyaa asked him to be online at a given time. Unfortunately, Saugat got the message after that particular day had passed. Ananyaa was pissed up. She had waited for him to come online the whole Saturday, but he did not. Two days later, she got an apology from Saugat that he couldn’t come online due to his exams. Meanwhile, they had sent each other enough offline messages. In reply, Ananyaa asked for his number and gave hers too. The next day, she got Saugat’s number. That night, for the first time in her life, she chatted with Saugat for an hour or so.

    Ananyaa called him often, but Saugat barely called back. However, they were in touch.

Feb 07, 2009

Kathmandu

One Saturday, Ananyaa called her friends Sonika and Rashmi over to her home. Then they went to New Road to do some shopping. She had told her friends she would like them to meet her new friend Saugat. She called Saugat on the phone.
“ Hello”
“Hey! How have you been?”
“I’m good, what about you?”
“Same here. Where are you now?”
“I’m just having a cricket practice at Tudikhel ground with my classmates. We’ve got a match next week.”
“ Oh really! I’m at New Road right now. Could you please come over here? I want you to meet some of my friends.”
“Now? I’m afraid I can’t. I am ….”
“Please! They are so excited to meet you. Please.”
Saugat couldn’t deny. He remembered her innocent face.
“Fine. I’ll be there right at the New Road Gate in some twenty minutes then.”
“ Okay. We’ll be right there as well. See you.”
And Saugat hung up the phone.

 

   Half an hour later, the girls spotted a young boy with a black check shirt and jeans. Ananyaa and Saugat had seen each other after a month. He had that same casual smile on his lips. Ananyaa introduced Saugat to her friends. “Let’s go have some coffee”, Rashmi said. “That’s a good idea,” Sonika added. “I can’t go. I have to return to the practice. I just came to meet you since you insisted”, said Saugat. “It won’t take long. Just half an hour. Please”,requested Ananyaa.
 “I’m sorry. Maybe next time. I really have to go. What about next Saturday, on Valentine’s Day? We can meet on that day. After our match, we are going to Basantapur Durbar Square next Saturday. A unique celebration is going to be held there on February 14 this year”, said Saugat.

 “Unique?” asked Sonika.

“Yes. Haven’t you heard about it? You’ll know on that day then”, said Saugat and bade them goodbye. He was gone. Not that he had to return to practice anyhow; he just refused to go with them to have some coffee because he didn’t have enough money to pay for coffee for all of them. And he couldn’t make them pay as well.

    Moments after Saugat left, Sonika mentioned that she kind of liked him. She asked Ananyaa where he lived.
“Dhapasi Heights”, answered Ananyaa. Though Saugat and Sonika both lived in Dhapasi Heights, they had never seen each other.

Ananyaa was not happy on hearing that Sonika too liked Saugat. Somewhere deep inside, Ananyaa had already begun to like Saugat a lot. She had tried to give Saugat some hints but she couldn’t. On the other hand, Sonika was a frank girl and always spoke her mind. Ananyaa had a fear that she could lose Saugat before she got him. The three girls then had some coffee in a café and returned home.

    Ananyaa was in her room after dinner. She called Sanumaya in her room. Ananyaa told her she had to share something with her.
“Sanumaya”, said Ananyaa,”Have you ever loved someone?”

Sanumaya smiled and replied she had.
“Whom?” asked Ananyaa. Sanumaya told that she loved Ananyaa and the whole family.

Sanumaya continued,” I am a poor girl. No man would love me. And I never loved one either. After my mother died, my father married another woman. My stepmother never loved me. My father also didn’t love me as much as he loved my step brothers. I was just useless there. My stepbrothers had started going to school, but they dropped me out when I was in the eighth grade. They made me do all kinds of household works in my early age. That is the reason I have become a good maid. A year later, one my relatives asked me if I would like to go to Kathmandu to work as a maid. I came here to this house. You weren’t even born at that time. I got the love from you and this family that I hadn’t got from my own family.”
Ananyaa’s eyes filled with tears and so did Sanumaya’s. She hugged Sanumaya and whispered, “I love you Sanumaya, I love you a lot.”
Sanumaya wiped her tears and said, “Are you in love Anu ?”
“Well, I think so”, replied Ananyaa. Sanumaya said, "How long has it been ?". Ananyaa replied, "A month." She told Sanumaya each and everything what had been happening.

“That’s great. Have you told him that you feel for him? ”, asked Sanumaya. Ananyaa told that she hadn’t. “ But I don’t think he loves me back”, Ananyaa had said. “Who wouldn’t love our princess? I’m sure he does. Just tell him that you like him a lot”, suggested Sanumaya. Ananyaa told she would. Sanumaya said,"But remember mere attraction is not love. Before you say that you love someone, you should make sure it is love, and nothing else. At times, in life, we meet some really nice people and feel that we are in love with them. But that just turns out to be an infatuation. To be in a real relationship, you must know each other completely in the first place. It's just been a month since you met him. First try to know each other better, and decide for yourself if you are in love or not." Ananyaa smiled and thanked Sanumaya for her advice.

Sanumaya wished her goodnight and left. Ananyaa wrote something about the day in her notebook. She had been doing this every single night after the day she had met Saugat.

Ananyaa was trying her best to tell Saugat that she liked him but couldn’t gather enough courage. She was finding it difficult because she herself thought that maybe it was too early. But for the last few weeks, she had been thinking about him over and over again. She would call him, but couldn’t tell. She would mail him, but couldn’t express her feelings. She would chat as well, but all she could do was normal conversations.

  Meanwhile, Sonika also added Saugat on facebook. Out of strong luck, she even got to chat with him. They chatted for a while but Saugat didn’t seem to be interested. Next day, Sonika even found where Saugat lived. Two days later, Sonika met Saugat on the way to his house. She knew he would pass by that way so she was waiting for him. She had been stalking. When they met each other,they had some conversations. Sonika was immensely attracted by him. She had a crush on him as well. 

CHAPTER 3

  

Feb 14, 2009

The Valentine’s Day

Basantapur, Kathmandu 

 

Those used to associating Valentine's Day with red roses and red hearts had to do some readjusting Saturday when the heart of Kathmandu turned pink to celebrate a day that has more to it than romance.

Dozens of homosexual couples, lesbians and transgenders gathered at the Basantapur Durbar Square in Kathmandu, one of the republic's most prominent public places where the old palace of the deposed Shah kings and the mansion of Kumari, Nepal's living goddess, are located, to celebrate Pink Triangle Day. 

It was 11 in the morning. Sonika had already reached Basantapur while Ananyaa was on her way. Rashmi couldn’t come for she had a fever. Saugat and his team had won the cricket match that day. Right after the match was over, Saugat and two of his friends were having lunch in a restaurant. Anish, who was a good friend of Saugat, phoned his girlfriend and asked her to come to Basantapur. The other guy Sakshyam told Saugat and Anish he would be at Basantapur in half an hour. He left the restaurant to pick his girlfriend. Meanwhile, Ananyaa reached Basantapur as well. The two girls met and smiled at each other. Ananyaa then called Saugat and asked him where he was. Saugat told her he would be there in few minutes with his friends.

Half an hour later, the two girls met Saugat and his friends. There were seven of them observing the crowd at Basantapur. They talked for a while about the unique celebration. Seeing two couples viz. Sakshyam-Aminaa and Anish-Priya , Sonika couldn’t help it and asked Saugat, “ And where’s your valentine, Saugat ? “
Ananyaa’s heart began to beat faster. In a soft voice Saugat replied, “I don’t have one. Let’s not talk about it.” “Oh! I’m sorry”, apologised Sonika. Anish immediately added,” Saugat has always been like this. Ever since we’ve met each other in college for the first time, Saugat never likes to talk about the relationships and girls.” “Saugat, this time around, there’s no escaping for you dude. You have to tell us what you’ve been going through. After all, we are your friends”, said Sakshyam. Ananyaa and Sonika stole a glance of each other. Saugat, Anish, Sakshyam and Priya were classmates, and his best friends. They had known Saugat for over a year now. But still they didn’t know much more about him. He never talked about his life much. He was very reluctant when it came to girls and relationships. However, he was quite frank and friendly on everything else. “I feel like there’s something about you that we don’t know. Though you’ve been hiding it from us, you can’t hide it anymore”, said Anish. Everyone was eager to hear Saugat speak. He had a serious expression on his face, of a kind none of his friends had ever seen before. Saugat sighed and began, “Fine. If you really want to know, I’ll tell. I have never told about it to anyone in my life. I’ll tell you from the beginning. My childhood was miserable.” All of them sat on the large flat stones of one of the monuments, their eyes focused at Saugat.

   Saugat continued,” I came to Kathmandu when I was six. My maternal uncle brought me here after my mother’s death. Before that, I used to live in a village of Chitwan with my mother and father. They said my father was not my real father. I was too young then to understand what people used to say. Later, when I grew up, my maternal uncle told me each and everything. My mother was one of the victims of girls trafficking. She was sold in India. After two years, she managed to escape and came back to Nepal. By then, she was pregnant with me. My maternal uncle said they tried to abort the child, but the doctors said it was too late and illegal as well. I still don’t know who my father is. So they got my mother married to a widower from a nearby village. He had no children. They said in the early days, he was ready to accept me as a child, but later on, he didn’t seem happy. By the time my mother gave birth to me, he had turned into a drunkard. I was too small to remember all the things. But I remember him coming late being drunk, and torturing my mother almost every day. This continued for over some years. The year I turned six, he began to torture my mother more than he used to. My mother couldn’t even go to the police. If she had, he would have killed him for sure. One day when he had gone to the market, my mother decided to end it all, and hung herself on the tree right in front of the house we lived in. I cried a lot that day. All the villagers had gathered around the tree. The scene of my mother hung on the tree still haunts me. My maternal uncle said when he heard about my mother’s death, he decided to keep me with him in Kathmandu. Two days later, my maternal uncle came to our house to take me with him. My drunkard father was happy that I was being taken away. I was just a mere burden for him.

“When I came here, I was shocked to see a city like this. I had come to Kathmandu for the first time. My maternal uncle had been living in rent in Kapan. He told me his wife had left him. He also didn’t have any children. Back then, he worked in a bank as a junior official. After some 4 years, we shifted to our own new house in Dhapasi. By then, he had been promoted to a senior official. I studied in a school in Dhapasi till grade 10. I used to miss my mother a lot, and I still do. My maternal uncle treated me as his own son, and loved me a lot. Sometimes at night, I woke up suddenly from a nightmare. I frequently had a dream where I saw my mother hanging. In one of my dreams, she asked me to be a good person in my future. Therefore, from my early teenage I had decided that I would work in the field of women rights and elimination of violence against women. When I shared this with my uncle, he was very happy and proud of me. The days were going well. We were not that rich but we had a quality of life. My uncle was already 36 when I was 12. But I felt lonely somehow for there was no one at home except my uncle.

I was a bright student in my class. I always used to stand first. When I was in 7^th grade, my classmate Meghna, who was the second girl, proposed me. I blushed out. She was a beautiful and intelligent girl. We didn’t use to talk much. I had got subtle hints some weeks before as she would keep on staring at me. I thought a lot, and accepted her proposal the next day. We used to chat on Yahoo, and talk on the phones. But we didn’t talk much in front of others. She was a bit different me. Our views didn’t match at times. But still I loved her more than anything. Three years later, we were in the 10^th grade. She told she would study Science while I was planning to study Arts. I had already thought I would study BSW. But my uncle insisted me to study management and told me I could study BSW after doing my +2 in management.

A month before SLC exam, I had to bear another shock. I found out Meghna was cheating on me. Some of my friends told they had seen her with some other guy. When I asked her what the matter was all about, she didn’t say anything. We didn’t talk for a couple of days. Then one day we met in a nearby park. She told she was sorry. She admitted that she had someone else in her life. She even told me that our relationship was going nowhere, and our ideologies didn’t match at all. Finally, she told me another thing that shocked me like nothing else. She told me she had just pretended to be in love with me so that it would spoil my studies, and she could be first in the class. But that was three years back, and was a childish idea. She had been in a relationship with that other guy from the beginning of our 10^th grade. I was all broken that day. I was angry at the whole world. I was angry with myself too. I never spoke to Meghna after that. Gradually I stopped talking to other girls as well. In no time, we gave our SLC exams too.

In college, I was friendly with everyone around, but never thought about any girl. I didn’t tell about my past even to my best friends Anish and Sakshyam. But guys, today on this Valentine’s day, I have told you each and everything about me and my past.”

Ananyaa’s moved her fingers over her tear stained eyes. Anish stood up and gave Saugat a tight hug, and patted on his back. So did Sakshyam. The girls didn’t know what to say or what to do. They just kept staring at Saugat. They all were silent for a minute. Then suddenly Sonika spoke, “My one stupid question made you feel bad, I’m sorry Saugat.” “Don’t be!” replied Saugat. A few minutes later, they went to the Garden Of Dreams at Kesharmahal. The two couples had a good time together while Sonika and Ananyaa were with Saugat. Ananyaa couldn’t even speak a word that day. Two hours later, they bade each other goodbye and returned to their own places.

That night, Ananyaa was in a dilemma whether she should let Saugat know about her feelings or not. She took out her notebook and wrote a lot about the day.                

Feb 14, 2009

Kathmandu

10:06 PM

Well today, he told each and everything about his past. He came to Kathmandu when…………

INTERLUDE

“ …………………………… I couldn’t speak a word today. I love him so much. But I am in a dilemma whether I should tell him or not after knowing his past. Oh why is love so painful?..........”

 It was already 3 o’clock. Aditi was still reading her mother’s notebook. She heard somebody knock on her door. She quickly hid the notebook, and went towards the door to open it. It was their maid. She had brought Aditi luncheon. “Naanu, here’s something for you to eat”, said the maid. Aditi was not hungry at all. So she told her maid she didn’t want to eat anything. The maid asked her if she was fine. Aditi said she was alright. The maid insisted her on having at least some to which Aditi replied,” Okay. Just put it over there. I’ll have it whenever I am hungry.” The maid left her room.

Aditi had no idea about her mother’s past. All she knew was her mother was the daughter of a rich father just like herself. She was desperate to know why her mother didn’t get married to Saugat. “Didn’t she ever tell Saugat that she loved him? Or Saugat didn’t accept her?”, Aditi questioned herself. “If I were her, I would have confessed my love right away. Someone has said ‘If you love someone tell them... because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.’ She should have told him by then”, Aditi was talking to herself. She locked the door and went back to discover something more which would leave her flabbergasted. Aditi took out the notebook which she had hidden under the pillow a few moments before. She stared at it for like three seconds, and turned the page up to which she had read.

“ ………… May be I should give it some more time. Oh god! I’ve never been like this before in my life. In love, all kinds of love, we wait. Saugat, if I can't be your dawn, I will be your sunset. In no time, you have made all of my emotions alive. For now, all I can do is hope for a better tomorrow. If only I had courage to let all of my emotions out right in front of you. Goodnight dear, even if you cannot hear me. I will ……………….”

 

 

CHAPTER 4

June 25, 2009

Kathmandu

It was a black day for the whole world. It was 4 pm, and Ananyaa had just returned from her college. They were watching television when a shocking breaking news was broadcasted on one of the channels. Michael Jackson had died. Everybody felt sad. He was a legend, The King of Pop. Everybody loved him, but then he was no more. News flooded over most of the channels. Even the Nepali media broadcasted the news. Amid the news of the death of the superstar, another news was making headlines as well. H1N1 virus, which caused Swine flu, was spreading like hell all over the world. The virus was contagious, spreading easily from one person to another and from one country to another. By early June, nearly 30,000 confirmed cases had been reported in 74 countries. Some cases had been reported in Nepal as well. People were suggested to wear masks and to be alert by the concerned authorities.

June 26, 2009

College Cafeteria

Kathmandu

    “Argh! I find it irritating”, exclaimed Sonika. “What are you talking about? The mask?”, asked Ananyaa. Sonika nodded. “That’s just a part of precaution. You know, how people are dying all over the world of this epidemic.” Sonika and Ananyaa were in the cafeteria of their college for lunch. They were seated around a round table on which two plates of mo:mo were placed. “I’m sick of having this mo:mo. Let’s try something else from Sunday”, said Sonika as she put the mask off her face and placed it on the table.

    “May I join you guys, if you don’t mind?” They heard someone say this, and turned to see his face. It was Abhisek better known as Abhi-their classmate. He was carrying a plate of chowmein in one of his hands while in the other hand, he held a pack of juice. “Oh come on, you don’t need to ask every single day”, Sonika replied. Abhi sat just beside Sonika and said “Mo:mo as always, huh?” with a smile on his face. Sonika and Ananyaa giggled. Sonika asked Abhi where his girlfriend was. “Don’t start again. She’s not my girlfriend”, hesitated Abhi. “She is cute though, isn’t she, huh Ananyaa?” “Yes, she is”, replied Ananyaa. Abhi was blushing. After a while, they were done with their lunch, and were heading towards the classroom. On the way Sonika asked Ananyaa,” Hey, have you been in contact with Saugat? I haven’t seen him in months. Last time I saw him was two months back. He was just strolling around when I met him. Is he ill or what? He doesn’t even use Facebook these days.” Ananyaa replied, “Yes, I've been in contact. He is not in Kathmandu these days. He's gone to Pokhara.”

“Oh! , I see”,said Sonika.

         It was Zoology Practical. The whiteboard in the laboratory read “Test.” “ What the hell ?”,whispered one of the students in shock as they entered the lab. It was a surprise test for them. The teachers were seated in their respective seats, and they looked like monsters,ready to eat the students raw. After the students were done placing their practical assignments in front of the teachers, one of them asked the students to study for some ten minutes. Then something terrible happened. The whole class turned to Ananyaa. The crescendo of her cell phone ringtone devastated the ample silence of the laboratory. She hurriedly put her hand inside her pocket and pressed the cell phone button, but to no avail, for she had pressed the wrong button. She was dreadfully nervous. However, she managed to end it all. “ Who was that , huh, who was that ?”, yelled a senior teacher. Ananyaa’s heart stood still upon hearing the loud, daunting voice. She slowly stood up with shaky limbs and uttered in a low voice which anybody could barely hear, “ I’m sorry, Sir.” “Give it to me”, said the teacher. Ananyaa took her cellphone out of her pocket and handed it to the fellow teacher. Her cell phone was seized. It was a kind of rule in the college that if any student’s cell phone rang during the class hours, it would be seized, and the student wouldn’t get it back for a year.

That night, Ananyaa felt really very bad. Not that she had lost her fancy cell phone, but she couldn’t text or call Saugat. She never called him using the landline,never. She knew she was not going to get her cell phone back for a year, so she asked her mom to get her a new one. The next day, she got a brand new cell phone. But she was not happy. She wanted her old one back. She wanted to read out the text messages Saugat replied to hers like she used to, over and over again. She indeed missed her cell phone. She indeed missed Saugat.

Two days later, she got the same SIM card from the network operator claiming it to have been lost. She was dying to talk with Saugat. Oh ! She loved him so much, with all her heart. She made a phone call:

Saugat : “ Hello.”
Ananyaa : “ Hey, how have you been ?”
Saugat : “I’m good. How about you ?”
Ananyaa : “ I’m fine as well. So where are you right now ?”
Saugat : “ Um, right now I’m at Lake Phewa.”
Ananyaa : “You must be having a great time. And when are you going to return ?”
Saugat : “ We had planned to leave for Kathmandu tomorrow, but then uncle changed his mind,                 and decided to stay for few more days. We’ll be in Kathmandu on July 1^st,Monday.”
Ananyaa : “Oh !”
Saugat : “ So what’s up with your studies? Doing good, future doc ?”
Ananyaa : “ Stop calling me that ‘doc’. It sounds awkward.” And she began to giggle.

They were having a conversation after a long time. Ananyaa spoke her heart out. All that time, she couldn’t tell him how much she loved him, how much she cared for him. Maybe she would never tell him, or maybe she would let him know soon, just maybe…

As every other night, Ananyaa was writing in her notebook. That time around, she wrote a short poem:

 

June 28, 2009

Kathmandu

10:26 PM

Nothing in this room can explain it to me,

This feeling, this majestic miraculous love
For each of their eyes have been closed.
But there on the desk beside me,
Is a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And I,a child is blessed, if only for a moment,
By the hope of being loved by my shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

She wrote how she had had a conversation with Saugat after a long time, and how wonderful she felt. She was desperate for July 1^st. She would ask him to meet her after he returns. Missing him bad, she drifted to sleep.

     

 

CHAPTER 5 

June 29, 2009

San Francisco

California,USA

“…….But I really don’t want to return”,Prakash spoke to himself.
“What time do we leave, son?”
“01:00 AM.”

“ 01:00? So we have an early flight tomorrow”,his father said with his lips curved into a smile.

They were packing their stuff in the luggages.

Prakash, in his early twenties, was an enthusiastic youth. He was the only child in the family-the family of just two. His father, a widower was a college lecturer back in Nepal. He had come to the USA for his PhD. Prakash lost his mother to stroke when he was just an infant. When Prakash’s father learned about his wife’s death, he had to cancel his admission and return to Nepal. For a few years, his father couldn’t get over the trauma of losing his beloved wife whom he had fallen in love with in his college days. Their families were against their relationship. So, they had to elope. When his wife bore him a son, she decided to stay back in Nepal while her husband decided to go to the States for his PhD on a mutual consent.

When Prakash’s father returned home within a month after his wife’s death,Prakash was being brought up by his maternal uncle. Prakash maternal family insisted on taking care of Prakash and bringing him up. Prakash’s father had no option. Had he taken his son to the States with him, there would’ve been no one to take of Prakash. However, they were willing to send Prakash to his father after he was a teen. With a heavy heart, Prakash’s father re-applied for his scholarship. Fortunately, his scholarship application was considered by a San Francisco based university.

Prakash was the apple of everybody’s eye in his maternal house. Everybody loved him a lot. He was very fond of stories. His grandmother would tell him stories every night. And when she ran out of stories, she would repeat them over and over again. When Prakash was a school going child, he had a deep attachment to the books. The sole reason for this was that his maternal uncle ran a bookshop. On holidays, Prakash loved going to the bookshop. He would leave no book unturned even if he didn’t know what the books were all about. Gradually, he developed a habit of reading books quite often. After he completed his homeworks and assignments, he used to devote himself completely in the books which he had brought home from the bookshop. From novels to travelogues, from fiction to non-fiction, he relished everything. He was an average student when it came to academics. He was not so fond of Science and Maths, but literature. By the time he was a teenager, he already had a collection of books ranging over different genres.    

Thanks to his sincere dedication to his studies and research, the university offered Prakash’s father to work as a junior professor which he accepted. Later, he applied for Green Card. On a special recommendation of the university, he was granted the Green Card. He would visit Prakash in Nepal in a year or two, and had promised him to take him to US along with him. When Prakash turned 16, he applied for a visa for the US. Citing the lack of documents, his visa appeal was rejected. He re-applied after a year. This time around, he was granted his visa. He was pretty excited, for he had heard and read a lot about the US- the land of opportunities.

Prakash had a time of his life upon his arrival in the US. In the bustling city of San Fransisco, he would compare the lives of people back in Nepal with the Americans. The culture was so diverse. At times, he was bewildered by the way of life of the Americans-always in a hurry. There was no leisure time as such. Even his father couldn’t give Prakash as much time as he had expected his father to.

The pay was decent for his father. They lived the life of an average American. Prakash soon completed his high school. Apart from books, he showed deep interest in strategic business. He got admitted in one of the business schools which offered him the kind of courses he wanted to take. Prakash, in his leisure time, would again devote himself to the books like he used to. His father was happy that his son was a bookworm. Prakash, however, refrained talking about Nepal. He was so engrossed by the US that he no longer remembered his maternal family. They would occasionally talk on the phone, but Prakash would hung up soon. His soul was Americanised, unlike his father who was not happy with his life in the US.

Prakash’s father was getting older and weaker day by day. He retired from the university due to his poor health. He had already made up his mind to return to Nepal, and start a business with the money he had earned in the US. When he spoke to Prakash about this, he frowned. “ Dad ! Are you out of your mind ? You wanna go back to Nepal ? For what ? Goddamn, there’s nothing in that country. Have you been following the news ? People are dying to come to the US, and you’re talking about going back.”, Prakash had said. His father was not happy about the way how his son had turned out to be. Tempestuously, he put pressure on his son that he alone would return to Nepal anyhow. This made Prakash think a lot. Prakash didn’t want to leave America. He had grown addicted to the country, to its very air and its charm. Every time he thought about Nepal, all that came to his mind were the Maoist insurgency, political and economic crisis, corruption, strikes and all the chaos in the country. But his father wished to take his last breath in his motherland.

Prakash suggested his father they should return to Nepal a few years later when the country was stable in all aspects. But this father denied, for he knew Prakash indeed didn’t want to go back to Nepal at any cost. If not then, he knew for sure that Prakash would never return to Nepal. The father and the son even had a row. Prakash stayed out at his friend’s place for a week. His father was helpless. All he could do was close his eyes, and a million memories flashed before his eyes. He would reminisce the good old times with his wife back in his college days, his family back in his village. His parents were no more alive. He had got a call from Nepal years ago that his father and mother died of old age. He regretted not bringing his poor old parents with him. He couldn’t even attend the funerals of both his parents and wife. Guilt filled him. He was mentally disturbed. All his degrees in Physics couldn’t make him happy, nor could all his researches on Analytical Mechanics.

Meanwhile, Prakash colleagues suggested him to return to Nepal knowing his father’s condition. One fine day, he apologised to his father. He promised to return to Nepal after two years.That was in 2007.

By 2009, he had completed his Bachelors Degree. One of his colleagues had a friend in Nepal who was about to start an automobile business. When Prakash knew about this, he talked to his father. He convinced him to invest the money in the same. Side by side, he had also wanted to open a new bookstore in Kathmandu, completely different from the rest which would require some investment as well. But it never happened.

June 30, 2009
         San Francisco International Airport

California, USA

01:00 AM, Monday

“Son, I’m really happy today. I’m so proud of you, Prakash that you eventually decided to go back to Nepal with me”, said Prakash’s father emotionally. Prakash wore a fake smile on his face. The plane took off.  So did the level of Prakash’s disgust.

         July 1, 2009

Hong Kong International Airport

Hong Kong
         05:00 PM, Tuesday

They had a 12 hour long transit in Hong Kong. Still an hour was there to be finally on the flight to Kathmandu.

In Hong Kong, they met few more Nepalese who were going back to Nepal. Prakash’s father had conversations with them while Prakash remained silent reading some travelogues.
“How long does it take from here to reach Kathmandu?”, asked one of them,”This is my first time on this route.”

“It doesn’t take too long. We’ll be in Nepal by half past ten, I reckon”, replied Prakash’s father.

July 1, 2009

Tribhuwan International Airport

Kathmandu, Nepal
         10:30 PM, Tuesday

“1 new message”, read Saugat’s cell phone screen. He read the text;
“ Hey, where are you ? Reached Kathmandu ? “
Saugat replied:
“ Yes, I did. But I’m still at the airport.”

The Prithvi Highway connecting Kathmandu and Pokhara was obstructed due to a landslide. The monsoon was at its peak. Saugat and his uncle had to return to Kathmandu by Tuesday, for his uncle had an important work on Wednesday at his office. So they decided to come by air. Due to bad weather conditions, the flight was late. Ananyaa had been so desperate to meet Saugat on July 1^st, but it all went in vain. Cursing her luck, she tried to sleep. But she couldn’t. She was gazing into the night sky at the myriad stars and the lonely moon. The moon shone dimly until an international flight with its brightest of lights overthrew the poor moon’s shine. Something was coming in her life, between she and her moon.    

CHAPTER 6

  

August 1^st ,2009

Kathmandu

July of 2009 had been a hectic month for Saugat. He was enrolled in a new college for his BSW programme. Before the admission, he didn’t  have any spare time to hang out. Entrance exam, interviews, documents and a lot of formalities were the stuffs he had to deal with. On the other side, was there Ananyaa, who was dying to meet with him.

It was Saturday, first of August. Ananyaa was sitting by herself in a park. She’d already been there for over an hour . She was a little annoyed, since she had to do all the waiting. But she knew she shouldn't react. Saugat showed up moments later. “I’m really sorry. I had even texted you. There was this huge traffic ja…..” , was all Saugat managed to utter before Ananyaa interrupted him, “ It’s okay. Even I got here just a while ago”, and she smiled. They had seen each other after some five and a half months. Saugat smiled back. He gazed into  Ananyaa’s eyes. He could sense the vibe of something different coming out from Ananyaa. Now, for the first time, Saugat allowed his thoughts to go to what he had been pushing away from his consciousness, what he had been trying to avoid thinking about: Ananyaa’s feelings for him.

They had known each other for seven months then, when they first met in January. Saugat was worried if Ananyaa had grown feelings for him. He never wanted that to happen. He loved Ananyaa, but just as a friend who could be handy to comfort her at times of need, who could give her suggestions and advice for certain things and who could be there for her as a guardian.

“So how have you been all these months? It seems like you’ve lost some weight”, and she started to giggle.Saugat shyly replied,“I’ve been fine all along. And yeah ! I’ve lost some weight. On the contrary, it seems you’ve put some on.” And they both burst into laughter. They went to a nearby café to have some coffee and conversations.

“Two cappuccinos please!”, ordered Ananyaa to the waiter. Ananyaa talked about how her college was going on, how much there was to study, about her friends, unlike Saugat, who was deeply lost in something else. He could feel Ananyaa’s voice vibrating his eardrum, but his thoughts were taking him to a faraway place, where he could see the consequences of Ananyaa’s feeling for him. So clear up the confusion, he finally decided to ask Ananyaa about her love life. The waiter brought them two cups of cappuccinos.One could easily hear the two syllabled “Thank You !” popping out of Saugat’s mouth.

“Hey! Are you fine ? I’ve been doing all the taking, and you’ve been quiet. Are you getting bored ? Sorry !”, Annayaa saw Saugat bowing down, his eyes fixed on the two cups on the table. “ Oh! no, that’s not true. It’s good to hear all these from you.” He raised his head as his lips bent into a curve. Ananyaa asked him about his new college. He let her know how his new college was, and also he had made some new friends. They chatted for a while sipping coffee from the bright blue cups. The cups were vibrant, they reflected the golden sun rays which were coming into the café through what seemed like a traditional artistic window completely made up of wooden carvings, until Saugat accidentally let go the cup from his hand. The porcelain shattered into pieces right away as it hit the concrete floor. They stole a glance. Ananyaa’s mouth appeared to be like an “O”. So did Saugat’s. He bit his tongue, and shook his head. Both of them shared a round of laughter. In fact, it was an omen.

Saugat paid the bill, and paid for the damage too. On their way out of the café, Saugat braced himself to ask Ananyaa something, and he finally did,“Hey ! Have you been in any relationship ? I mean, it has been so selfish of me. I have not asked anything about you.” There was an awkward silence. Ananyaa didn’t know what to say. She loved him so much, but was not in a position to tell him. She didn't have that sort of courage to confess her love. However, she replied,“I’ve never been in a relationship, but I do love someone”, and she blushed. “ And may I know who that lucky guy is ?”, asked Saugat. Their lives partly depended on Ananyaa’s answer. Had she answered with a “YOU”, their lives could have been different from what they are now. But destiny is destiny. She couldn’t utter a “YOU”. It was the weakness of her life. And it did make her suffer a big time. “ Umm.. Leave it. I’ll tell you later”, Ananyaa muttered. Saugat’s heartbeat rose. All he wanted was an answer. He was praying that he was not the one whom Ananyaa was in love with. He compelled Ananyaa to answer. When she found out that there was no way out, she faked it,”A guy from my college”, and she held onto her emotions. Her heart felt heavy. She felt some sort of difficulty in breathing.

Saugat heaved a sigh of relief. He was happy for Ananyaa. He was even happier that it was not him. He felt as if a burden had been lifted off him. On the other end, Ananyaa regretted for her answer. She would regret all her life for this. "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!’ ".  In this case, it was the tongue’s.

Saugat said,“That’s great. Does he know about it?”. Ananyaa, with a heavy heart, replied,”No. I’ve not told him yet. I am not that courageous”, and she tried to smile. “Go tell him if it’s love. The feeling of one-sided love is like a poison, which kills you slowly on the inside, until you let that person know that you love him/her”,Saugat tried to make Ananyaa feel better. Ananyaa fought back the tears in her eyes. She wished Saugat found out himself that she loved him. Ananayaa hated herself. “I hope you two get along together. All the best !”, Saugat
wished her luck. “Thanks!”, uttered Ananyaa. They hurried up to the bus station, for the sky was getting darker. The monsoon clouds were massive. No sooner had they arrived at the bus stop than it started to drizzle. They said their goodbyes to each other, and parted ways. On her way home, Ananyaa couldn't stop crying her heart out. Her tears were an analogy to the downpour outside the vehicle.

The house Ananyaa lived in was awesome. It was a three-storey bungalow with a lovely garden at the front. The porch was wide, and the lobby of the house had paintings and family photographs on the walls. Ananyaa had the sapphire blue bedroom with two bookshelves on either side of her bed. When she got home, she directly headed towards her bedroom without speaking a word with Sanumaya who was the only one at home at that time of the day. Sanumaya knew straight away something had gone wrong with Ananyaa. She followed Ananyaa up to her bedroom. Sanumaya asked her what had happened. They spent an entire hour talking about what had happened that day. Sanumaya tried her best to console Ananyaa, and brought her something to eat.

After dinner that night, Ananyaa took a deep look at her photos of back then when she was a child: happy and cheerful.  A large photo of hers when she was just 7 hung on the sapphire wall of her bedroom. In the picture, she had a full stretched smile on her face, and she held a teddy as big as her. She had never imagined her life would turn this way. As her chore, she took out her notebook, which was hidden,from behind the bookshelf, and struggled to write about the day.

August 1, 2009

Kathmandu

09:51 PM

I don’t know what happened to me today. I shouldn't have faked my answer. I should have told him the truth. And I know, I’m gonna regret it a big time. Oh ! Why ? Why is it that I can’t confess my love ? It’s killing me. But someday, I’ll. I’ll tell him that I have loved him all along, that I've spent my days and nights thinking about him, dreaming about him. I’ll tell him that it has never been just an attraction, nor just an infatuation. I’ll tell him I've loved him truly….but have failed to confess. I’ll someday. I really will……………………….

CHAPTER 7

 

4 and a half YEARS LATER !!

Jan 01, 2014

Kathmandu

It was the beginning of a new life for Ananyaa. She had been studying medicine for over three years then. Her classes of the fourth year of MBBS had just started. It was the first of January,2014. Ananyaa was alone in her room. At the corner of her room, was her phone being charged, which seemed to have come to life suddenly as it started ringing. It was a call from her highschool friend-Abhi. He invited her over to a get-together of high school friends. It had already been some two years since they had had the last get-together. She told Abhi she’d love to come,but was not feeling well. Indeed, Ananyaa was not feeling any better about anything around. She sighed as her eyes became watery. She turned her laptop on, logged into Facebook, and clicked on Saugat’s profile.

Her eyes melted into tears, yet again. Saugat’s profile seemed lifeless. On the contrary, his profile picture was full of life-he was smiling as if he were the happiest person in the whole world. Ananyaa started sobbing as all she could see on Saugat’s profile was the word “R.I.P.”

It was back in April,2013 when that tragic incident swept the whole world under Ananyaa’s feet. She was not ready to believe that Saugat was no more in this world, that he now totally belonged to this very earth and not to Ananyaa. The last time Ananyaa had met Saugat was when he left for the United States in February of 2013. After Ananyaa graduated from her high school, she started studying medicine right away, while Saugat was doing his BSW. After having completed his Bachelor’s degree, Saugat searched for some job. Meanwhile, he applied to some foreign universities for his Master’s.

Ananyaa’s feelings for him had grown even more. Emotions sprouted out of her heart upon beholding him or even thinking of him. She was going to become a doctor in her career. Ironically, she had been the patient of love, and the only medicine that could cure her disease was Saugat’s love. But then, the medicine was expired even before it was manufactured. She had made,goodness knows,how many attempts to let Saugat know her feelings for him. But her one lie,which she regretted the most, had made all those attempts go in vain.

In January of 2013, Saugat’s application was accepted by a Massachusetts based university. He immediately applied for his visa to the US. His uncle was then going to be alone. At times, Saugat even thought of not going to any other country realising all his uncle had done for him. But his uncle didn’t want to be an obstacle in his career, in his dreams. So he made Saugat go to the States. Saugat promised to return after completion oh his studies. Before Saugat left for US, they hired a maid who could take care of his uncle and do all the household works.

In February, Saugat got his visa. Ananyaa really didn’t want Saugat to leave. But she couldn’t ask Saugat to stay in Nepal either. She tried, though, to change Saugat’s mind of going to the US for his Master’s. Saugat wanted to explore too. He thought it would be great to go to the US for a change.

By this time, Ananyaa’s family had already got subtle hints that Ananyaa loved Saugat. She had invited him over to her house a couple of times. Ananyaa’s parents did admire Saugat, for he had been a hard-working and a decent guy. However, they didn’t know each and everything about his family background like Ananyaa did. Ananyaa turned 22 that year. Her parents hadn’t thought anything about her marriage yet as they wanted her daughter to complete her studies first. Though her parents liked Saugat, Ananyaa’s father had someone else in his mind who’d be the right guy to marry Ananayaa. But her father hadn’t talked about this to anybody, even to his wife, about the guy.

Feb 14, 2013

The Valentine’s Day

, Kathmandu 

             

 

 

……To be continued…..