Sleeping Beauty
What do you think is the reason people watch their loved ones
sleep? I had my own reasons.
When I woke up in the middle of one night, there was she
right beside me sleeping peacefully. The beaming light of the silver moon from
the heavens above came in through the window, and fell upon her body as if she
were wearing it head to toe. Time stood still as I checked every inch of her
face. The moles on her face formed an equilateral triangle above her left eye. Her
eyelids had a crease, and were closed against the moonlight. She was breathing
softly and rhythmically- her breasts rising and falling with each intake of
air. Her ebony black hair danced around her head on the beats of the cool
breeze which caressed her gently like a painter’s stroke. She had eyes of opals
under her eyelids, and a body of a nymphet- a heart of a child and wit of a
fool.
Night bugs outside sang songs of the deepest of the woods.
She looked so innocent and vulnerable in her sleep. It was one time I could
really observe her without an explanation or reason. And there was something
very peaceful about watching her sleep, like a stolen moment one can enjoy. My
heart began to warm up a little. I reached up to her face and planted a gentle
kiss on her temple, and watched her subconscious react to it.
Then the REM kicked in. I so wanted to learn the calm with
which she was aiming at her dreams. I wished she was having a beautiful dream.
I wished she dreamed of the green meadows and the mountains, of the lake which glimmered under the rays of the
mellow sun, like it had been undisturbed for years. I wished it. I wished it
all.
I ran my finger under her dainty nose. I could feel the warm air she was breathing out. It sent monotonous ripples through my heart. I could see her body was at utter peace and rest-every muscle in her body totally relaxed. Time stood still yet again as I stared at her for like minutes, fixing my gaze right into her face that one could easily assume me hypnotized. She wasn’t wearing any forced expression or any mask at all. She was just her. Innocent, primal and honest- such was the depth of her oblivion. There was something innately attractive watching her sleep in that moment of tranquility.
I ran my finger under her dainty nose. I could feel the warm air she was breathing out. It sent monotonous ripples through my heart. I could see her body was at utter peace and rest-every muscle in her body totally relaxed. Time stood still yet again as I stared at her for like minutes, fixing my gaze right into her face that one could easily assume me hypnotized. She wasn’t wearing any forced expression or any mask at all. She was just her. Innocent, primal and honest- such was the depth of her oblivion. There was something innately attractive watching her sleep in that moment of tranquility.
I couldn’t
find a single flaw in her as I continued to watch her because every flaw would
start turning beautiful right in front of my eyes. Finding faults is for those
with tired minds, and I was certainly not one of them. I got up from the bed,
and walked up to the window. I smiled at the moon floating in the calm summer
starlit sky, and she smiled back. The craters on her skin started fading away.
I kept smiling all the way through. I turned my head to watch my love. The breeze
was gone by then, and her hair was a mess in a beautiful way.
If she had a
habit of speaking in her sleep, I could listen to her all night long, no matter
what she was telling. Madness has overcome me. The longer I climb, the deeper I
fall into her captivity. I went back to her, and held her hands in mine softly.
Her fingernails were varnished. The polish on them reflected the moonlight back
to where they came from. I could feel her pulse which happened to sync with my
own heartbeat.
I closed my
eyes for a while and took a deep breath. The love of my life was right in front
of me, and I had a sad realization that she wouldn’t last forever. Neither
would I. Nothing would. My heart felt heavy, and there was a lump in my throat
at the thought of this. But love is an endless ocean. It has no beginning and
no ending. It transcends the boundaries of life and death. Somebody has said
our death is our wedding with the eternity. I told her even if I burn away, my
ashes will still be alive, and they will come dancing in a thousand new faces
in her memories. I told her all but she wouldn’t hear it in her sleep. She
wouldn’t see the compassion flowing continually onto her from the deepest
bottoms of my heart.
I opened my
eyes to look at her again. This time she seemed very fragile-like a snowflake
falling from the sky, like a dew drop on a leaf at the dawn, fragile like
flower blossoms in the early spring, like a water bubble floating in the void.
One touch is all it takes. It broke me apart. I almost felt like crying. I held
her hands again, and read a poem I’d written for her from my memory.
From both your eyes, from your nostrils
From both your ears and from your chin
Forth from your heart and mind
And from your tongue
I’ll drive your malady away
From what is voided within,
From strands of your hair
And from tip of your nails,
From all yourself top to toe
I’ll drive your malady away
Ill thoughts and nightmares
Will no longer visit you
Even in the darkest of nights
Sleep with the silver moon
Rise with the burning sun
Now spread your wings
And fly with the birds
Under the bluest of the skies
Croon in the early mornings
And take a man’s blues away
Flow with the rivers
And gather the streams
Down from the hills and mountains
Let flowery grass spring up
Let there be lakes with lotus blooms
Drift with the clouds
And the blowing wind
Without a destination
To the faraway deserts
And fill up the oasis
She slept like a baby the whole night through, completely oblivious to all my words and all my actions. I wanted to join her in her peaceful sleep. I wanted to go blind and dream. So I lay by her side. Seeing and holding the lockets of her hair, my face became all eyes, and eyes all hands, before I fell asleep.